I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
