theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
