I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
