Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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