I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
