What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
