Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
