Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
