Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
