Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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