Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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