FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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