I have demons in me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
