is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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