I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
