i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
