So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
