the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
