That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
