Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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