I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
