DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
