Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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