OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I could make wine with my vomit
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
