i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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