So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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