somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
