I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
