Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
