You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
