even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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