wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
