i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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