The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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