so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
