You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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