Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
