when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Are we still banned from the library?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He has the fingertips of a God
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