Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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