You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
