even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
