return my video game
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
