just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
