You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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