paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think I died a long time ago.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
