I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
