My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
