I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
