Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
