That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My breasts were aching with rage.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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